What if?

What if one day you found out the path you walk
just doesn't end up where you expected to lead?

what if one day you knew you had the power
to do better but you didn't do so?

what if one day you found out that you could achieve better if you just insist on small things?

what if one day you start to weep over the unfulfilled choices that you could simply just do better?

what if you had the power to change today in the past and failed to do so?

what if you knew one day you would cry for you misfortune and regret?

I'd say,
give myself a tap on the shoulder
and turn around looking at tomorrow,
don't look back 'cause what's done is done.

I still could mold tomorrow into what i want.

13012010- Industrial Training

放假。
其实训练也没怎样吧？
比我预想的，轻松。
可是才两天，也不能肯定的。

Day 1.
原本8.30开始上班
我5点起身，6.30出门，7.30到达，就等。
一点也不觉得紧张。
如果在一个普通的地方上班，那时的心情也太轻松了。XD

其实我工作也没什么
这两天就是跟小朋友们一起学习
照顾和帮助他们
可是短短两天就让我的人生慢慢开始改观了。

MeiMei是个高高大大的女孩
她很听话，就老师们叫她做什么都做哦
比较害羞，看到我还是陌生人就会羞涩的望开
偶尔比较懒惰，因为我发现他搬椅子的时候坐下了。。。^^
她本质很聪明哦，都不用我帮忙的~哈哈
作业都自己做，也很独立~^^
James的脾气有点暴躁
可是都蛮喜欢我的，他也很听话
虽然到后面开始耍脾气 ==
下午时分的小朋友我忘了他叫什么名字。。。 T^T
可是就一直跑来跑去，我也一直追来追去。。。
他很聪明，知道我没运动。。。XD
我也一直抱着他，他就像猫一样跟我撒娇。。。XD

导师说今天的小朋友比较难搞
可是我觉得乱开心的
虽然很累，可是看见他们很活泼的样子
我就觉得就算多累也要坚持到放学。
以前也不明白为什么他们会说这句话
可是今天就明白了。^^

可是还是在妈妈的公司睡到跟什么一样。XD

Day 2.
也跟第一天差不多吧。
没什么差。
还是要照顾小朋友。。。

可是今天的小朋友也太可爱了。
都是四眼的可爱小帅哥！ XD
Choy Yen 是个很有礼貌的小弟弟
一直叫我gorgor的。。。哈哈
很听话很乖的， gorgor叫他做什么都做
可能因为妈妈在旁边吧
会说thank you 和 excuse me
他还告诉我他的不懂谁要去日本，送他去airport。。。
下课还懂得把香蕉送给朋友
(可是最后自己吃，深度怀疑是妈妈叫他这样做的) XD
Darren 是个很有个性的小朋友
也是我看过说NO说到最有个性的一个人。。。XD
他很铁齿，也很心软
而且他很不喜欢人家知道他的小秘密。。。XD
可是到最后，还是被我感动了
很粘我~XD

Yes! 成功！

导师问我，其实看到小朋友们会不会吓倒
我心里面想还真的没有~
而且我没把他们看成什么特殊的人来看待
我把他们看成我弟弟那样疼~哈哈~
其实他们跟我们一样的啦！
而且比我们还要聪明！
hmm~ 也很可爱啦
可惜别人就是不愿意去看。可惜。

08012010

Note to myself.

Those who judge people by appearance ( me included ) are disgusting.
The society itself is disgusting.
Ugly people are mutes.
Poor people are handicapped.
People with lesser abilities are considered trash.
The society works by discarding useless things.
Life is everything but fair.

Life Sucks. ^^ FACE IT.

08012010

0300 in the morning.
another sleepness night.

it was days i kept myself at home
doing nothing but gazing on the computer screen,
occasionally going to the toilet, eating and sleeping.
the holidays is really taking away my life.

was on the phone for 2 hours.
wasnt sure what we were talking about.
but it sure wasn't anything you can expect from daily conversations.

i was in a bad mood,
and i didn't expect anyone to understand me
since life had been so lonely all these years.
it was quite normal when others misunderstand me or dont at all.
but i'm glad i got some out of my system today.

all these time i was hoping that someone could understand me for what i am.
to see behind surface
and to achieve deeper communications with me.
in short, though i was constantly in shallow conversations,
i hate them.

i wanted something that wasnt that on-the-surface.
i am sure i could take on topics that are deeper
but the fact is,
they wouldn't understand.

i often felt like an alien to people
and i coordinate my steps with them.
but am i moving too fast?
or am i acting in some ways that our society could not accept?

everyone has their own set of personalities.
as time goes by,
bits and pieces are corroded away in conformation to social norms.
i fought my way to preserve it
altering it to keep it's originality.

however, my situation confines me into a tight space
partially me to be blamed.
there is an ongoing flow of potential inside
but there's no where and no idea how to vent it.

well, as the old saying says,
I think too much.

04012010

the last week of holidays
will start internship next week

went out with old classmates again
went back to the places we used to hang out
memories flashed back

it was quite happy
nothing much to think about

we've grown up
changed.
its kinda nice to see what time has done to us
looking back on what we used to be
and realize
no matter how much we worked hard to go back
time kept pushing us forward.