Walking down an empty street.

Transition.
Before moving on to the other phase,
there's always a twilight zone, a limbo,
or just a simple gap between the switch.
It could be filled with many many stuffs, by which I couldn't think of any,
since mine's a total empty vacuumed void.

the bad side of having that much time is
the feeling of adrift, the feeling of lost and disorientation.
the doubt of whether a choice made could bring regret,
or whether hasting a decision will bring any future disaster.
it's like standing at a split in a road,
not just 2 splits, but millions of them.

the fact that now I could be anything I want,
I could literally DO anything I want really bugs me.
I could have a million combination of possible things that I could do
and I have plenty of things that I would like to try.
the only thing I should be worried about is the consequences.

easy talk.

and on top of all of that, there's boredom.

apart from all of the internal conflicts and dramas I had
there's a brighter side of all these.
while I may not know what or where I might end up to be,
all these thoughts slowly made me realize what I do not want.

having time alone sets the dust of chaos that blurred my vision.
Being able to understand myself more,
I know what I do not want
or maybe accepting the inevitable, and finding alternatives to stay happy.

I may not get what I want
but I'm still getting something
so why not enjoy what I had
or use it to do some good?
( I was talking about vocational choices, but that could be anything, for future note. LOL)

Now it seems that reality is catching up
and dreams are slowly giving up.
I dreaded the day where I could perform a task excellently,
yet when asked about my dreams
I stood like a piece of wood
realizing what I've lost throughout the years.

However, I was given a very active imagination
and a very lazy personality,
so hopefully something deep inside could remind me about dreams.

and if it all fails, there's still this stupid blog.