A for Apologize

Blogging has been an on and off thing for me.
Since I'm not having a good memory,
things do come and go quite fast through my mind.
It's a nuisance jotting down things that often makes you sad
it's much more like having to revise the sad life over and over again.
that's why i stopped.

Here, I owe someone an apology.

Dear C,

I knew i wasn't being the best partner,
I knew it hurts a lot.
I am very sorry for what I did.

Mere words couldn't express the guilt i felt deep inside.
Though I would've been laughing and having fun,
I made quite some effort trying to conceal how i truly felt inside.

I've made a promise to you
and I broke it.
Not only i breached the trust you had for me,
I broke your heart.

Confessions could be made,
but it would not liberate me from my sins.

I did not expect forgiveness from you,
although I wished dearly that we could be friends again.
It is my rightful consequence to bare the guilt and suffer as long as I could remember.
Perhaps the only way for me to feel better,
is to torture myself by owing you a late apology forever.

I wished after everything settles,
one day we could meet up,
and you could slap me on the face,
for being such a jerk.

I truly hope we could talk once more,
Regards,

Chris T.